"Oh, I'm not sure, perhaps thicker at the top, tapering to a point near the floor - like a wedge on its pointed end please."
"Certainly Sir - I have just the tool for the job".
For an hour or so a most frenetic activity and buzz filled the small leatherette lined room. A fug of pain, a slashing of knives and the swift snitsnitsnit of neat little stitches.
Some time later the job was complete and the man tried to stand - but oh, he could not, not upon his pointed end.
"Sir, perhaps we could invert you?"
"You could" replied the man "but how will I walk on my fat ended head?"
"Oh dear Sir, I fear we have gone a little too far towards the artist and a little too far from, well, the practical outdoors-man. I fear Sir that you will need to contract the services of a burly servant to move you from place to place."
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